First things first, let's get two facts straight:

1. Josh Ritter's "The Historical Conquests of Josh Ritter" is almost perfect, and "The Temptation of Adam" is almost without question the quirkiest, sweetest and most interesting love song I've ever heard. If you do nothing else with yourself in the next week, find that song.

2. "Pushing Daisies" is getting better with each episode (and the first one was pretty awesome all by its lonesome), and Ned & Chuck have what is almost without question the quirkiest, sweetest and most interesting relationship I've ever seen (and certainly the best of television right now). Chuck is especially adorable, and were it not for my admiration of Ned and the whole "pursuing romantic relationships with fictional characters" taboo, I might have a new obsession...

Phew, I'm glad I got all of that off my chest. Now onto the business of Philadelphia's very own Dr. Dog (and free Dr. Dog posters!)

Does anyone remember the MTV Video Music Awards about 10 years ago when Beck appeared via satellite to half-heartedly accept something gaudy? He did it in this totally un-ironic monotone, like he was thinking the same thing the rest of us were: "Isn't Beck a little too cool to be doing this? Isn't Beck's music a little too weird and classy to attract an MTV audience? Should Beck really be thinking about his career in the third person?" Well, the answer to all of those questions is "yes," and Beck's cool stock went up another notch when he remixed "The Girl" from Dr. Dog's latest record, "We All Belong."

Reaching all the way up to the Prince of Indie Grab-bagia proves one thing: "We All Belong" is a tough record to ignore. From the fuzzed-out Zombies punch of "The Girl" (dig that buried harpsichord in the chorus) to the shambling and wryly creepy "Die, Die, Die," the band has finally managed to escape the "shitty Beatles" label that's plagued all of its previous releases. Yes, it's still recorded on analogue equipment, but this is the widescreen, glossy and embossed director's cut release that all the other full screen records have been leading up to -- hence the move from 1/4 inch 8-track to 2 inch 24 track. "We All Belong" is fractured and messy in all the right places, but it's held together by the band's best-written collection of songs to date. Its personality and execution transcends the lo-fi spirit of the songs, and avoids the twin pratfalls of all such records: the impression that the band is either slumming it, or that they're incapable of creating something more polished and deliberate. This is deliberate and thoughtful for sure, but it never seems contrived or less than inspired -- it perfectly displays Dr. Dog's essence, the here and now of a band that cut its teeth (and these tracks) on the basement floor without pretense or second-guessing. It's as much a classic snapshot record as "Exile on Main St." or "Music From Big Pink," and one has to believe that the band is simply making the most of its considerable talents without any overwrought consideration. Just look at the happenstance lyrics to "Old News":

We've been stripped down
hog tied and found out
and thrown into the choir
like sticks upon the fire

If the above is true, the band is skilled at rolling with the unexpected (and bandaging third degree burns, as well). "We All Belong" is a kaleidoscope of the band's best tendencies: honest and sloppy harmonies, razor-menace, slinky slide guitar lines and general inventiveness (the horns that pepper several tracks are fantastic). It's all part of the "Philadelphia Sound," a combination of push-and-pull basslines and frenetic, trebly guitars that wrap around your brain like a boa constrictor (and judging by labelmates such as The Teeth, it's Park the Van's gold standard). This record has probably spent more time in my car stereo than any other in the last 6 months, and if you want to say that root, root, rooting for the home team is self-agrandizing, so be it...I'm certainly not the first one around here to do so:

The embedded player may or may not play the tracks at Alvin & the Chipmunks speed -- this blog is like an unpleasant version of Russian Roulette -- so make sure to click on "download original" after following the links:

Dr. Dog - Keep A Friend

Dr. Dog - The Girl

Seriously, you need this record, and you should probably go see them on November 10th at the TLA. If you're interested in the Beck remix, the band has released a limited number of 7 inch vinyl copies that come FREE with the purchase of their CD (or actual 12 inch) at local independent retailers. Try AKA Music in Olde City or Chester County Book & Music Company in West Chester.

As an added bonus, there are GIVEAWAYS for anyone who's interested. I'm on Dr. Dog's street team and I have a whole care package full of fancy posters, stickers and buttons...leave a comment and you'll be bountifully rewarded in person or via postal mail.

If you haven't already caught the previous downloads for the Wood Brothers, Grant Green and T-Bone Walker, shake a leg: they're all disappearing this Sunday, Sunday, Sunday!

WeAllBelong.net

Dr. Dog on MySpace

Park the Van Records

I've been getting a lot of criticism about my last few posts. "Ian," some say, "are you under the impression that your audience is composed entirely of blind people? There's very little visual stimulation lately, and so many of your posts are in braille and/or similarly coded gibberish." And so I says to Mable, I says, "Fear not, goodly sighted people! Much like those who hunger for food only to find that their eyes are bigger than their stomachs, so too shall your urgent need for ocular satisfaction exceed the capacities of your rods and cones!"

My apologies for the delay in updates. I've been hard at work getting a new template designed for this yonder blog, as well as a new logo and permission to add music from here and there. Until all of that happens (which will be tomorrow, when a Dr. Dog track or two is added), just sit tight and think happy thoughts. Hey -- are you thinking about Indiana Jones, too? Are you thinking about how awesome it is when he punches Nazis and makes that "what ever happened to corporal punishment" paddle-on-wet-cement sound? Are you thinking about how it's even more awesome when the Nazis let loose that blood-curdling scream before their timely deaths?
You're not alone. That scream is known as the "Wilhelm Scream" and has been used in countless films (or exactly 112, if you must know) since it was first recorded in 1951. And thanks to prolific sound editor Robert Burtt, it made its way into most of the films I grew up watching. The scream itself was probably recorded by Sheb Wooley, the world's last living mammoth whose "Flying Purple People Eater" made 1958 that much goofier. Check out the compilation below and pick your fave (mine is from "Howard the Duck," of course):

And while on the subject of "Star Wars" and George Lucas' excessive use of the Wilhelm Scream, enjoy this thorough deflation of his Empire's pomp and circumstance:

Keep your eyes glued to the screen as we move onward and upward to my three favorite topics: nerdy English major curiosities, tributes to facial hair and famine relief. First, the interrobang. "Egad!" you say. "We may quibble over the use of waterboarding, but interrobanging is never okay!" No no, this blog is expressly non-political (although if it weren't, cartoons like this might appear on occasion, courtesy of marriedtothesea.com):

The interrobang is actually a combination of an exclamation point and question mark. Apparently it was a very hip character in the 60s (like Steve McQueen), but proved to be only a passing fad (like Engelbert Humperdinck). It's perfectly harmless, unlike Laughing Bullets (first cousin to both the Gay Bomb and Giggling Scimitar).

All of these weapons are of course powerless when wielded against a fine mustache. "But where can I find an emporium of fine mustache examples, so that I might prepare a proper defense?" Try Mustaches of the Nineteenth Century, but first heed this warning:

Dear Gentle Reader,
Many of the following pages have graphic and clear images of the masculine mustache in all its forms, both sublime and grotesque. My intent is not to shock or titillate, but merely to inform on the subject. The Nineteenth Century gave us many things, but above all it was a hotbed of facial hair experimentation and this is but a poor sampling of those many lost forms.

The glossary of terms alone makes this blog worth your time, and as a founding member of the Fredonia/Dunkirk gang "The Beards" (which defeated the dastardly "Whales"...see below), I fully endorse its Mission for More Mustaches.

And finally, visit Free Rice.com if you like having your brain and vocabulary teased, tested and ultimately soothed by the knowledge that your supplying grain upon grain of rice to a hungry person somewhere. What do "begird" and "doyen" mean? Only you and your rag-tag group of rice-hungry mercenaries can find out!

So, have I whetted your eyes' appetite for destruction and human flesh? (I have a rare form of dyslexia that results in my confusing eyes with a zombie version of Guns 'N Roses -- and yes, the zombie version does include Buckethead). Check back tomorrow for some Dr. Dog downloads and more.

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Currently listening to: Nicolai Dunger "RÖSTEN OCH HERREN"

Currently reading: Jack Spratt Investigates: The Big Over Easy by Jasper Fforde

In the last few months, I've been going to a lot of "In-the-Round" shows. For those of you not familiar with the format (and especially for those of you who think "In-the-Round" is the name of a pre-gastric bypass Blues Traveler album), allow me to explain. Unlike traditional shows with an opener, headliner and maybe some sort of collaborative push for an encore, "In-the-Round" shows feature a number of musicians seated next to each other -- the name is therefor an oxymoron, like "jumbo shrimp" or "Ted Koppel" -- playing songs and telling stories down the line, each successive performer usually linking their next tune to a theme from the previous. It sounds a bit silly, it's absolutely "folky", but it allows for a lot of interplay between artists who might not share anything but a passing stage otherwise.

On Friday night, I had the good fortune of catching an exceptionally talented and complimentary lineup: the Garfunkel-coiffed Devin Greenwood, the Western-Swinging Devon Sproule, the looks-a-lot-like-my-friend-Mitch John Francis, and the slightly-less-coiffed-but-infinitely-more-beflowered Carsie Blanton. Normally there's one sore thumb musician in these situations (and the line between good and bad in folk music circles in a tenuous one, at best), but not here. It was a fine evening of fine musicians playing fine songs in fine form, from Devon Sproul's giddy and absolute delight during former tour mate Carsie Blanton's time in the spotlight to the Band-worthy hand-me-down harmonies of "Brother's Keeper."
John Francis, incidentally, is a stunning live performer. He has a rich vibrato when singing softly, very reminiscent of Harry Nilsson in his prime. But when he cuts loose and really lets it rip, it's a bone-chilling approximation of early Sun-era Elvis. I rarely gets chills from singers, but it was Goosebump City, population my arms when he tore into "Johnny Cash on the Radio."

Talking to Carsie after the show, I was told that no new recordings would be issued in the near future unless I was capable of producing a record deal for her. Alas, I traded my last record deal in reserve to Papa Legba in exchange for my boyish charm and guitar playing skills (both of which have been coming up short lately; I guess it was only a 1-record deal or something). It did give me the idea for this post though. I run across a lot of Internet music labels, marketing sites, tour supporters, etc. here and there, and it seems like an excellent time to catalogue some of my "do-it-yourself" musical tips.

• TuneCore: TuneCore is the label and distribution equivalent of Garage Band. For a minimal fee (about $20 per album per year), you can upload your album -- with or without any sort of management/representation -- and let TuneCore distribute it to the pay-per-download platforms of your choice, including iTunes, Amazon, emusic, etc. It costs $1 for each site you choose to distribute your music to, but you keep all the royalties, publishing rights and "100% of the money your music earns." The site also offers CD duplication services and a blog about its favorite TuneCore artists.

• Sellaband.com: This isn't nearly as appealing, but interesting nonetheless. Musicians upload their demos and eagerly await for interested parties -- or "Believers" -- to donate money until a $50k goal is reached. Once this happens, they're guided through the recording of an album by an "experienced A&R person [...] and producer." The aftermath is where it gets a bit sticky. Every "Believer" who invested gets a digi-pack version of the album; fair enough. Sellaband then offers your songs as downloads for 50 cents a piece, half of which goes to your investors. You can also order your album at cost from Sellaband, but $2 from every album sold goes to your investors...and the profits from albums sold via the website are split between you, your investors and Sellaband.
  It's not a bad deal if you have no other options (and it's certain to encourage a strangely close connection with your future audience), but in the era of gloriously abundant and semi-shameless self promotion avenues, it's leaning uneasily into the shameless realm.

• TalkMusicBiz.com: Producer George del Barrio's website offering instructional posts and videos about surviving the annals (pronounce that at your leisure) of the music industry as unscathed as possible. While the tried-and-payola/monopoly...err, "true"...music industry may be on its way out, Barrio offers advice to musicians caught in the crux between the old guard and the new. Lots of resources here -- check it out.

• StolenGear.org: On the hometown hero front, this site was created in Philadelphia as an aid to name and making-a-name bands who've had gear stolen or, to sugarcoat such a devious act, "criminally misplaced."

*A special thanks to Paste Magazine for all of the above tips*

Last but not least, who hasn't dreamed of being in their own buddy cop movie? Come on..."Turner and Hooch", "Robocop II" (get it? Because there's two...), "The Color Purple"...what else is there to fantasize about? For everyone who has the swagger and intent of starting the next "Lethal Weapon" franchise but lacks the right script, you're in luck. They Fight Crime.org will generate your character sketches and what vaguely resembles a plot, all for the low cost of taking away from hours of work you need to get done! Here's a taste of the first film you'll win an Oscar for starring in:

"He's a short-sighted misogynist werewolf moving from town to town, helping folk in trouble. She's a mistrustful hip-hop single mother from out of town. They fight crime!"

Next time, more music, less circumstance. If anyone has any more music-related websites that could help a brother (or sister) out for Part II, please let me know.

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Currently listening to: Charlie Mingus "Blues and Roots"

Currently reading: Johnny Cash: The Autobiography and Created in Darkness by Troubled Americans: The Best of McSweeney's Humor Category.