Coolest thing I've ever seen? Probably. The Dave Eggers-penned film finally comes out in October, and the trailer debuts this Friday in front of Monsters vs. Aliens.

See more at FilmDrunk

On the eve of so many excellent Philly bands releasing new albums this summer, I've noticed that none of them has a Twitter account. That's a real shame, so here's a how-to (and, more importantly, why-to) guide to using Twitter as a tool for promoting your music.

Twitter is a microblogging service that mimics Facebook's "Status Update" feature: users create 140-character "tweets" and add Followers who are automatically fed these messages via Twitter.com or text messages.

You can also reply to other users (@UserName), send a private Direct Message (D UserName) or start and follow topics (check out #ModernFairy and #LitDish -- both awesome).

At first glance it seems like just another place for personal updates that no one cares about, but if you use it to announce things other than "I am eating a baloney sandwich - ACK!", it's a really powerful (and mobile) real-time marketing device. It attracts tens of thousands of new users each month, and it has grown more than 600% in the last 12 months.
Read "Twitter - the next big source of blog traffic" for more about setting up an account.

Why Musicians Need Twitter:

1. Your fans are already on Twitter
...and so are the journalists and bloggers who review your albums. Trust me, you'll be surprised by how many people you know on here. A simple search using TwitterSearch will also show you all the tweets containing your name - a great place to start adding followers who are already interested your music.

(You should already be receiving automatic updates from Google whenever your name is dropped in news, blogs, videos or other groups - if not, set them up at Google Alerts)

2. Twitter works with your cell phone
Let's say you just finished your sound check and no one has shown up for a gig. Simply send a tweet via text to 40404, and Twitter can notify all your followers that they are missing the best show of your career! Better yet, if they have your profile set up for notifications, it will send an alert to their cell phone.

If you're a touring musician or stuck in the studio, Twitter is a great way to get around spotty Internet access and a lack of time to update your website. Simply text updates from the road and have them fed into your other online profiles.

Services like TwitPic are also great for instantly uploading photos from the road, right from your phone. That burrito you ate with Lyle Lovett? Show everyone in just a few minutes!

3. Twitter integrates with your other social networking services
You can set Twitter to automatically change your Facebook status to your latest tweet, or use a service like TwitterFeed and allow Twitter to automatically tweet your latest blog post, Flickr upload, show calendar update and more.

When I publish this post, Twitter will automatically create a tweet entitled "Twitter for Musicians Pt 1" with a link to this blog (check it out here). At the same time, Twitter will change my Facebook status to the title of that tweet. My Twitter account also imports my latest GoodReads updates, Blip.fm updates and my shared Google Reader items - it saves me tons of time, and it makes sure that my friends who are on Twitter but not Facebook / mailing lists / near a computer can get the same info as everyone else in real time.

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Still not sold? Just take my word for it, set up an account, check out the articles below, and Part II will go into much more detail about integrating Twitter with your other online marketing outlets. And follow me on Twitter when you get there!

• How To Use Twitter for Music Promotion

• Twitter For Musicians and Bands: A How-To Guide

• Musicians’ Guide to Rocking Twitter
  

Finally, democracy for concert seating! SeatKarma.com, where "no two tickets are the same," gives users the ability to view all available seats for a show.

"SeatKarma’s search engine covers 99% of tickets available for purchase online by retrieving live ticket information from a couple of hundred secondary market ticket brokers. The cost comparison is then augmented with venue mapping available for approximately 1600 venues. 1300 of these are “live maps” which place a marker on the section where the seat will be located. The remaining 300 are small venues such as bars where seat mapping doesn’t apply. The company claims it now has more live maps than any other comparison engine on the market." (from TechCrunch.com)

I just bought tickets for the Clapton / Winwood show in Philly and spent 20 minutes in an Internet queue wondering what (if any) seats were still available. Never again!

clipped from www.cnn.com "Economists call this 'opportunity costs,' " explains Berens. "You're sitting there and you have to weigh, well, 'I have to watch this thing, because I promised myself when I told TiVo ... I want the whole season of that! Go get it! And go get things like it!' And so you've committed to this decision and it's a burden -- suddenly your relaxation has turned into more work." "With infinite media, you have infinite choices, and therefore you have infinite opportunity costs," he says. "Your satisfaction index of the thing you actually choose can never be equivalent to the infinite opportunity costs, so we're in this position of being behind the cognitive eight-ball all the time."

This is only a half-truth. I actually can't hear you over the oven-like sounds of 99-degree plus weather in Philadelphia, which makes my life feel a lot like the following clip:

I've seen 45 sunsets since I secretly told myself the following, and it still holds true: Hoots & Hellmouth (also known as Hoots & Hellmouth) are maybe the best band in the world, probably the best in Philadelphia, and certainly the best in whatever physical space they're currently occupying. I can count on one hand the number of times that I've seen a show that was so immediately and intensely affecting...actually, I can count those times on just 4 fingers. I defy you, oppossable thumb!

"45 sunsets?! Are your days and nights so busy that you can only think about writing during the briefest of brief sun-setty moments, and then not even follow through?" Sort of -- hence why I'm sitting here writing on Christmas Eve, what some people consider the very eve of Christmas. It's been a busy couple of months looking for a better job (one writing, and writing about exciting things, no less!), catching up and reading and long abandoned dreams of musical achievement, and seeing friends old and new. Plus, I'm still reeling from the fact that not one person visited to download the Dr. Dog tracks -- seriously, how do I get people to read this, and thus impel myself to write more regularly and better?

Since my last audio blog arch-accomplishment went by unnoticed, this one is decidedly non-musical. And extra-hyphenated, even when it's unnecessary.

For those of you frantically writing last-minute Christmas cards and wondering whether it's less pedestrian to wish a "joyous holiday season" than a "blessed holiday season," look no further than Wordcount.org:

"...an artistic experiment in the way we use language. It presents the 86,800 most frequently used English words, ranked in order of commonness. Each word is scaled to reflect its frequency relative to the words that precede and follow it, giving a visual barometer of relevance."

It's a really fascinating tool, and it's extra fun to look for words like ne'er-do-well and scallywag. Incidentally, "blessed" is the 7,778th most commonly used word, and "joyous" is the 21,664th.

"Ne'er-do-well and scallywag? Unless I'm in immediate danger of being swashbuckled or flim-flammed by a dashing rogue, why would I use such harsh words? This is not the grisly and unrefined Victorian Era, sir!" True so true, but with a bit of Steampunk ingenuity, you could be sending me that kind of acerbic and hypothetical rebuttal from a computer such as this:

This is an HP laptop adapted by Richard Nagy (see the Newsweek article here, and his own website here). Steampunk is a really fascinating and probably all-consuming movement that results in things like this pickguard, featured on SteampunkWorkshop.com:

If you're not in the mood for high academia or counter culture engineering feats -- if you're a man of the people, the Street Spirit made flesh and blood -- then perhaps your love for language is best expressed in tattoos. And if you have a taste for adventure and/or a poor grasp of English, try English character tattoos such as "Frunk" and "Crymph."

Fresh musical features are coming and, with a little luck, a much nicer non-stock layout for the site. So tell your friends, tell your ma, don't make me send ya back to Arkansas where viewing this page is probably more difficult what with all the moonshine and whatnot floating around.

I've been getting a lot of criticism about my last few posts. "Ian," some say, "are you under the impression that your audience is composed entirely of blind people? There's very little visual stimulation lately, and so many of your posts are in braille and/or similarly coded gibberish." And so I says to Mable, I says, "Fear not, goodly sighted people! Much like those who hunger for food only to find that their eyes are bigger than their stomachs, so too shall your urgent need for ocular satisfaction exceed the capacities of your rods and cones!"

My apologies for the delay in updates. I've been hard at work getting a new template designed for this yonder blog, as well as a new logo and permission to add music from here and there. Until all of that happens (which will be tomorrow, when a Dr. Dog track or two is added), just sit tight and think happy thoughts. Hey -- are you thinking about Indiana Jones, too? Are you thinking about how awesome it is when he punches Nazis and makes that "what ever happened to corporal punishment" paddle-on-wet-cement sound? Are you thinking about how it's even more awesome when the Nazis let loose that blood-curdling scream before their timely deaths?
You're not alone. That scream is known as the "Wilhelm Scream" and has been used in countless films (or exactly 112, if you must know) since it was first recorded in 1951. And thanks to prolific sound editor Robert Burtt, it made its way into most of the films I grew up watching. The scream itself was probably recorded by Sheb Wooley, the world's last living mammoth whose "Flying Purple People Eater" made 1958 that much goofier. Check out the compilation below and pick your fave (mine is from "Howard the Duck," of course):

And while on the subject of "Star Wars" and George Lucas' excessive use of the Wilhelm Scream, enjoy this thorough deflation of his Empire's pomp and circumstance:

Keep your eyes glued to the screen as we move onward and upward to my three favorite topics: nerdy English major curiosities, tributes to facial hair and famine relief. First, the interrobang. "Egad!" you say. "We may quibble over the use of waterboarding, but interrobanging is never okay!" No no, this blog is expressly non-political (although if it weren't, cartoons like this might appear on occasion, courtesy of marriedtothesea.com):

The interrobang is actually a combination of an exclamation point and question mark. Apparently it was a very hip character in the 60s (like Steve McQueen), but proved to be only a passing fad (like Engelbert Humperdinck). It's perfectly harmless, unlike Laughing Bullets (first cousin to both the Gay Bomb and Giggling Scimitar).

All of these weapons are of course powerless when wielded against a fine mustache. "But where can I find an emporium of fine mustache examples, so that I might prepare a proper defense?" Try Mustaches of the Nineteenth Century, but first heed this warning:

Dear Gentle Reader,
Many of the following pages have graphic and clear images of the masculine mustache in all its forms, both sublime and grotesque. My intent is not to shock or titillate, but merely to inform on the subject. The Nineteenth Century gave us many things, but above all it was a hotbed of facial hair experimentation and this is but a poor sampling of those many lost forms.

The glossary of terms alone makes this blog worth your time, and as a founding member of the Fredonia/Dunkirk gang "The Beards" (which defeated the dastardly "Whales"...see below), I fully endorse its Mission for More Mustaches.

And finally, visit Free Rice.com if you like having your brain and vocabulary teased, tested and ultimately soothed by the knowledge that your supplying grain upon grain of rice to a hungry person somewhere. What do "begird" and "doyen" mean? Only you and your rag-tag group of rice-hungry mercenaries can find out!

So, have I whetted your eyes' appetite for destruction and human flesh? (I have a rare form of dyslexia that results in my confusing eyes with a zombie version of Guns 'N Roses -- and yes, the zombie version does include Buckethead). Check back tomorrow for some Dr. Dog downloads and more.

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Currently listening to: Nicolai Dunger "RÖSTEN OCH HERREN"

Currently reading: Jack Spratt Investigates: The Big Over Easy by Jasper Fforde

In the last few months, I've been going to a lot of "In-the-Round" shows. For those of you not familiar with the format (and especially for those of you who think "In-the-Round" is the name of a pre-gastric bypass Blues Traveler album), allow me to explain. Unlike traditional shows with an opener, headliner and maybe some sort of collaborative push for an encore, "In-the-Round" shows feature a number of musicians seated next to each other -- the name is therefor an oxymoron, like "jumbo shrimp" or "Ted Koppel" -- playing songs and telling stories down the line, each successive performer usually linking their next tune to a theme from the previous. It sounds a bit silly, it's absolutely "folky", but it allows for a lot of interplay between artists who might not share anything but a passing stage otherwise.

On Friday night, I had the good fortune of catching an exceptionally talented and complimentary lineup: the Garfunkel-coiffed Devin Greenwood, the Western-Swinging Devon Sproule, the looks-a-lot-like-my-friend-Mitch John Francis, and the slightly-less-coiffed-but-infinitely-more-beflowered Carsie Blanton. Normally there's one sore thumb musician in these situations (and the line between good and bad in folk music circles in a tenuous one, at best), but not here. It was a fine evening of fine musicians playing fine songs in fine form, from Devon Sproul's giddy and absolute delight during former tour mate Carsie Blanton's time in the spotlight to the Band-worthy hand-me-down harmonies of "Brother's Keeper."
John Francis, incidentally, is a stunning live performer. He has a rich vibrato when singing softly, very reminiscent of Harry Nilsson in his prime. But when he cuts loose and really lets it rip, it's a bone-chilling approximation of early Sun-era Elvis. I rarely gets chills from singers, but it was Goosebump City, population my arms when he tore into "Johnny Cash on the Radio."

Talking to Carsie after the show, I was told that no new recordings would be issued in the near future unless I was capable of producing a record deal for her. Alas, I traded my last record deal in reserve to Papa Legba in exchange for my boyish charm and guitar playing skills (both of which have been coming up short lately; I guess it was only a 1-record deal or something). It did give me the idea for this post though. I run across a lot of Internet music labels, marketing sites, tour supporters, etc. here and there, and it seems like an excellent time to catalogue some of my "do-it-yourself" musical tips.

• TuneCore: TuneCore is the label and distribution equivalent of Garage Band. For a minimal fee (about $20 per album per year), you can upload your album -- with or without any sort of management/representation -- and let TuneCore distribute it to the pay-per-download platforms of your choice, including iTunes, Amazon, emusic, etc. It costs $1 for each site you choose to distribute your music to, but you keep all the royalties, publishing rights and "100% of the money your music earns." The site also offers CD duplication services and a blog about its favorite TuneCore artists.

• Sellaband.com: This isn't nearly as appealing, but interesting nonetheless. Musicians upload their demos and eagerly await for interested parties -- or "Believers" -- to donate money until a $50k goal is reached. Once this happens, they're guided through the recording of an album by an "experienced A&R person [...] and producer." The aftermath is where it gets a bit sticky. Every "Believer" who invested gets a digi-pack version of the album; fair enough. Sellaband then offers your songs as downloads for 50 cents a piece, half of which goes to your investors. You can also order your album at cost from Sellaband, but $2 from every album sold goes to your investors...and the profits from albums sold via the website are split between you, your investors and Sellaband.
  It's not a bad deal if you have no other options (and it's certain to encourage a strangely close connection with your future audience), but in the era of gloriously abundant and semi-shameless self promotion avenues, it's leaning uneasily into the shameless realm.

• TalkMusicBiz.com: Producer George del Barrio's website offering instructional posts and videos about surviving the annals (pronounce that at your leisure) of the music industry as unscathed as possible. While the tried-and-payola/monopoly...err, "true"...music industry may be on its way out, Barrio offers advice to musicians caught in the crux between the old guard and the new. Lots of resources here -- check it out.

• StolenGear.org: On the hometown hero front, this site was created in Philadelphia as an aid to name and making-a-name bands who've had gear stolen or, to sugarcoat such a devious act, "criminally misplaced."

*A special thanks to Paste Magazine for all of the above tips*

Last but not least, who hasn't dreamed of being in their own buddy cop movie? Come on..."Turner and Hooch", "Robocop II" (get it? Because there's two...), "The Color Purple"...what else is there to fantasize about? For everyone who has the swagger and intent of starting the next "Lethal Weapon" franchise but lacks the right script, you're in luck. They Fight Crime.org will generate your character sketches and what vaguely resembles a plot, all for the low cost of taking away from hours of work you need to get done! Here's a taste of the first film you'll win an Oscar for starring in:

"He's a short-sighted misogynist werewolf moving from town to town, helping folk in trouble. She's a mistrustful hip-hop single mother from out of town. They fight crime!"

Next time, more music, less circumstance. If anyone has any more music-related websites that could help a brother (or sister) out for Part II, please let me know.

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Currently listening to: Charlie Mingus "Blues and Roots"

Currently reading: Johnny Cash: The Autobiography and Created in Darkness by Troubled Americans: The Best of McSweeney's Humor Category.

...that my entire family was killed by a band of half-crazed gypsy mimes (or "migrant mimes?" That's probably a funnier image). Actually, it was 40 years ago last month that "Sgt. Pepper's Lonely Hearts Club Band" was released. XPN put on a huge tribute show that I missed despite being on the Penn campus just before it started, so now I have to make my amends by adding my own twopence to the whole affair.

For me, the Beatles' recording career fits into 4 easy categories: the early "Yeah yeah yeah" era, which contains some of the greatest pop songs ever; the "Revolver/Rubber Soul" era; "Sgt. Pepper's" as its own thing; and finally, "Abbey Road" as its own entirely different thing. "Revolver" and "Rubber Soul" were always my favorites growing up, and "Sgt. Pepper's" my least. For some reason it took me forever to warm up to it -- forever as in up until last year. There was just something off about it; it wasn't as tight or immediate as "Rubber Soul," but it was much more of a production (and thus should have been tighter? Who knows). I still don't know what I didn't like about it, but I definitely do know what I like about it now.

The most amazing thing about the whole album for me is how much space there is on it. Critics of the album have always said that it was overproduced; that there was too much emphasis on playing with 8-track recording machines and not enough on songwriting. But if you listen to all the space on "Lucy in the Sky with Diamonds" (or any other song, really), that argument doesn't hold up very well (and should really be reserved for "Abbey Road"). Is there a lot of weird stuff on there? Sure. Is "A Day In The Life" bloated and awful? Yes. But the only real musical misstep is an editorial one: "Strawberry Fields Forever" and "Penny Lane" were both recorded in the same sessions but left off the record for some reason (the "Strawberry Fields" omission being the bigger crime of the two). And I think "Hello Goodbye" and "Rain" may have been contenders at one point as well, although neither of the latter would have fit as well as the former. And who could forget "Exciting Sandwich," with its exquisite four-part harmony and bird's eye view?

For the rebellious at heart, remember that this album was essentially the Beatles rejecting their identity, both personal and public. I've been trying to find a clip from when the "Strawberry Fields" video premiered on American Bandstand. Yes, there was a music video, and yes, that song was released as a single before the full album. The best part about the clip is Dick Clark interviewing the audience after the video plays. Everyone is completely turned off by it, most of them commenting on how "weird" everyone looks with mustaches and beards. I think we take classic albums for granted without considering how possible it is for a sea change to end a band's success, or how often classics are met with skepticism or indifference upon their initial release.

None of that is very profound of course, but it's a good segue into something that probably was. To commemorate the album's anniversary, the University of Leeds hosted a major academic conference about the cultural significance -- or lack thereof -- of "Sgt. Pepper's." Listen, I love quality pop culture that borders on art, and I especially love it when it merits serious academic study. There are plenty of links on Google to academic articles about the album; check them out if you're interested.

Not to be outdone by its Anglo competition (or co-Anglo, as they're both British), the Oxford Dictionary of National Biography has an interactive version of the album's iconic art which allows users to read up on most of the actors/musicians/authors featured on the sleeve simply by pointing and clicking. Pointing and clicking! What's next, electronic postal mail? Seriously though, I was pretty mega-nerd excited when I found this tool -- make sure you check it out.

There really is music coming. I promise promise promise it's coming soon. I'm just still juggling my time, my astounding stupidity when it comes to file hosting, my steady paycheck that never seems to be enough, and my complete lack of coordination that makes successful juggling about as likely as my becoming a vegetarian. For now, read this interview with Oliver Wood of The Wood Brothers, whom I had the good fortune of finally seeing a couple weeks ago. Perhaps a track from that show will be the first download I have on here...?

And I'd be remiss to forget about my other tidbit of musical history, genteel-ly researched by our friends Drew & Natalie at Marriedtothesea.com:

As I've been waiting for the various muses to bestowe upon me actual working knowledge of the internet that would allow for this music blog to include, you know, music, I've been lamenting two things about leaving the radio station: not being able to review music for any real purpose, and not getting any music to review.
Luckily, FirstListen.org exists to fill that void. Here's how it works: artists large (the Raconteurs, Josh Ritter, Ray Lamontagne) and small (no pun intended to the very talented Carsie Blanton) submit their upcoming or recently released releases ("Sting, Stang, Stung") to the service, which in turn provides said releases to its members for review. Too dry and clinical? Try this description: you get lots of free music, the only catch being that you have to fill out a short survey about each record you get. The artists see these reviews and can tailor their releases accordingly (or panic in the event that the album is already out and beyond all help). From their website:

FirstListen.org does grassroots distribution/promotions for up and coming musicians (or established ones who would like to receive exposure). We're interested in listeners who have a geniune interest in music. We provide you with free music in hopes of you providing us with feedback about the music.
The only thing you're required to do at this time is to provide us with feedback on the free music you are receiving through a short (NOT long) online survey that you'll be asked to complete after a mailing goes out. It's very simplistic and self-explanatory. Advanced technological/web skills need not apply. The artists, record labels, or management personnel who are involved rely on feedback and this is the best way for them to aquire it.

I'm sure there are plenty of people with awful taste in music who have signed up for the service just for the perks. So I'm trusting you, loyal reader(s), to get involved for the sake of the artists who require good and careful input. Plus, you get free music...this is called circular logic or, in some cultures, a one-track mind...

Meanwhile, the Copyright Royalty Board is planning on increasing royalty rates on internet music streams to the tune of "online music streams will go out of business." Unfortunately, it's another symptom of a flagging record industry trying to save itself and failing to keep up and/or play nice with the new-fangled Interweb. Visit Savethestreams.org to see what you can do to help.

And for all of you synthesizer fans out there, observe the genius that is "Dr. Synthesizer Volume 2: I Will Teach You Again" (a.k.a. Drew of marriedtothesea and Toothpaste for Dinner):