"Yes, yes, I know. It's easier to download music, and probably cheaper. But what's playing on your favourite download store when you walk into it?
Nothing, that's what. Who are you going to meet in there? Nobody. Where are the notice boards offering flatshares and vacant slots in bands destined for superstardom? Who's going to tell you to stop listening to that and start listening to this? Go ahead and save yourself a couple of quid. The saving will cost you a career, a set of cool friends, musical taste and, eventually, your soul. Record stores can't save your life. But they can give you a better one."

So what's your most fondly-remembered record store memory? It doesn't have to revolve around a specific album (that I'll address next time), but everyone has that one special day, and everyone who reads this blog can probably describe it with all five senses. Sock it to me, gentle readers.

Sidenote: The best reason of all to vote for Barack Obama this Tuesday (as if you needed one)? John Cleese has offered his joke writing services to the campaign. I, for one, am looking forward to a cartoon McCain being crushed underneath a giant cartoon foot.

or something similarly dramatic.

Warpaint, the new album from the Black Crowes -- notable for its addition of the North Mississippi All-Stars' guitarist Luther Dickinson to the band and the fact that there is a new album from the Black Crowes -- has been stirring up some serious controversy in the world of music journalism. It seems that Maxim magazine, that bastion of musical resources, published a negative review of the album without even listening to it. And rather than apologize to the band or retract its review, Maxim issued an apology to its readers and labeled the review a "preview" or "educated guess," stating that "we always prefer to (sic) hearing music, but sometimes there are big albums that we don’t want to ignore that aren’t available to hear, which is what happened with the Crowes. It’s either an educated guess preview or no coverage at all, so in this case we chose the former."

The magazine has since taken refuge behind its editorial policy of only assigning star ratings -- Warpaint was given 2.5 out of 5 -- to reviews (albums heard in their entirety) and not previews. The ethical questions this kind of nonsense raises for musicians, music fans and especially critics is well addressed by Malcolm X Abram of the Akron Beacon Journal here, but I'll give the final word to the Crowes' manager, Pete "The Other Peter Grant" Angelus:

"[...] It seems that your magazine’s actions have created an extremely blurry line, if there is any line at all, between “what’s a preview and what’s a review.” Shouldn’t a proper “preview” notify the reader that an artist’s work is forthcoming, whereas a “review” offers an opinion of the material after someone has actually heard the music? [...] In our business, a fabricated review is a serious concern that may ultimately harm all artists because it calls into question the credibility of the entire review process."

Check out Angelus' thoughts on increased animosity between musicians and critics in this article.

Moving on to what is normally the topic of a Black Crowes article (the band's habit of wallowing in the former glory of the Rolling Stones), the FBI has revealed that Mick Jagger was the target of a 1969 murder plot by the Hell's Angels. It seems that the usually docile Angels were pretty miffed at Jagger & Co. blaming them for their murderous rampage at Altamont. The water-based attack on Jagger's Long Island home was foiled "when a storm hit their boat, throwing the men overboard." You may remember this as the final scene in Harrison Ford's "Patriot Games," but most recognize it as the template for both "The Perfect Storm" and "The Life Aquatic with Steve Zisou."

Without any fanfare whatsoever, Buddy Miles -- sometime drummer for Jimi Hendrix and a slew of other R&B and soul groups -- died on Feb. 26 of congestive heart failure. His non-Hendrix achievements included forming Electric Flag with Mike Bloomfield, recording with Carlos Santana and singing lead vocals for a little band I like to call THE CALIFORNIA RAISINS.

That's about as cool as it gets, and I'm not being at all sarcastic.

As a tribute to Buddy Miles' passing, check out "Them Changes" with Hendix's Band of Gypsies.

-----insert song-----

As a tribute to the continued longevity of Mick Jagger and the Black Crowes, check out two excellent songs about murder and mayhem: "Turd on the Run" and "Black Moon Creeping" from the best albums by each respective band.

The Black Crowes - Black Moon Creeping

The Rolling Stones - Turd on the Run

Avast, ye patiently anxious neo-Februarians! Disembark from your frozen ships, formerly bobbing along on now certainly frozen seas, and join me on a journey to the limits of human endurance!

Does the new centaur bear a strange resemblence to me? Yes, especially in the cut of his fine yellow cape.

Last month I had the good and last-minute fortune of seeing Mirah & the Spectratone International perform "Share This Place" in its entirety at World Cafe Live, complete with Britta Johnson's accompanying stop-motion film about wirey bumblebees and maggoty blue pen caps. Watch "Credo Cigalia" below:

I finally made my way to Ortlieb's Jazzhaus a few nights later. It's a really cool little room in Northern Liberties (try the crab bisque and absent-from-the-menu yam fries...try them together, even). Jazz has always been a huge mystery to me: I have a tremendous love and respect for the music and the history of the music, but the actual ins and outs of this supremely intellectual art form leave me feeling alternately humbled and tuned out. My visit was on open mic night, which complicated things that much more. What was most interesting was seeing all these people, professional musicians and committed dabblers, forming these on-the-spot quartets and quintets and facilitating this sense of community (there are very few people at a jazz club who aren't invested in the music, so the connection between performer and audience is uniquely kinetic).

In the spirit of communities -- insect or otherwise -- this post is about collaboration, co-habitation and coagulation.

First up, Concerts In Your Home:

A great resource for musicians and hosts especially, CIYH is proud to carry on the increasingl rarefied tradition of "gigs where people listen." More than just a listings hub for bookers and bookees, CIYH has ample links to other house concert resources, a forthcoming compilation CD, and a blog (with podcasts!) from founder Fran Snyder.

From the "I'll see your intimate living room and raise you a backseat!" Anglo angle comes the Black Cab Sessions:

A wonderful idea even more wonderfully executed, Black Cab Sessions combines all the best things about taxis (eat your hearts out, De Niro and Hirsch) with some of the most varied yet strangely complimentary indie musicians. Each artist gets one take at a song while riding around London, a surprisingly large percentage finding fiddle players to fill out their sound. Says the website, "It doesn't matter if their album went platinum or their recording studio closely resembles a mate's laptop - they just have to be superb. And alive."
For some of the liveliest, check out Seasick Steve and St. Vincent with her simultaneously intense and nonchalant performance of the Beatles' "Dig A Pony." Great sound quality with great video footage -- waste an hour or so at work.

Finally, an analog oldie but a goodie, Art of the Mix:

For everyone who thought John Cusack had all the answers in "High Fidelity," this site is a validation of your most narcissistic-but-well-intentioned musical aspirations. Full of exceptionally nerdy info and more mixes than you can shake a stick at, it's the perfect marriage of an analog concept and the digital age.

Here's a sample criteria for a mix of your own. Everybody give this a shot (it's not that hard or time-consuming in the iTunes era) and send it my way. Perhaps we can finally get this place cooking as a little community of its own:

The original Frankenstein concept: 1. song from the last record bought 2. A blues: not a necessarily a blues record but a song that is labelled (something)blues 3. song that gets you going in the morning 4. romantic song 5. One of the earliest records that you can remember listening to. 6. song discovered from a film 7. song from favourite band / artist 8. song from an artist band that you otherwise don’t like, but like this one 9. A Lullaby. 10. song that makes you laugh / you find funny 11. really good cover version 12. song that reminds you of school days 13. song from an artist that you are embarrassed to admit you like 14. funky 15. song for those quiet rainy days 16. feelgood song 17. A song with the word ‘Look’ in the title 18. From a member of the ‘Dead rockers society’ 19. Your favourite Elvis song 20. Wildcard-any song.

I've seen 45 sunsets since I secretly told myself the following, and it still holds true: Hoots & Hellmouth (also known as Hoots & Hellmouth) are maybe the best band in the world, probably the best in Philadelphia, and certainly the best in whatever physical space they're currently occupying. I can count on one hand the number of times that I've seen a show that was so immediately and intensely affecting...actually, I can count those times on just 4 fingers. I defy you, oppossable thumb!

"45 sunsets?! Are your days and nights so busy that you can only think about writing during the briefest of brief sun-setty moments, and then not even follow through?" Sort of -- hence why I'm sitting here writing on Christmas Eve, what some people consider the very eve of Christmas. It's been a busy couple of months looking for a better job (one writing, and writing about exciting things, no less!), catching up and reading and long abandoned dreams of musical achievement, and seeing friends old and new. Plus, I'm still reeling from the fact that not one person visited to download the Dr. Dog tracks -- seriously, how do I get people to read this, and thus impel myself to write more regularly and better?

Since my last audio blog arch-accomplishment went by unnoticed, this one is decidedly non-musical. And extra-hyphenated, even when it's unnecessary.

For those of you frantically writing last-minute Christmas cards and wondering whether it's less pedestrian to wish a "joyous holiday season" than a "blessed holiday season," look no further than Wordcount.org:

"...an artistic experiment in the way we use language. It presents the 86,800 most frequently used English words, ranked in order of commonness. Each word is scaled to reflect its frequency relative to the words that precede and follow it, giving a visual barometer of relevance."

It's a really fascinating tool, and it's extra fun to look for words like ne'er-do-well and scallywag. Incidentally, "blessed" is the 7,778th most commonly used word, and "joyous" is the 21,664th.

"Ne'er-do-well and scallywag? Unless I'm in immediate danger of being swashbuckled or flim-flammed by a dashing rogue, why would I use such harsh words? This is not the grisly and unrefined Victorian Era, sir!" True so true, but with a bit of Steampunk ingenuity, you could be sending me that kind of acerbic and hypothetical rebuttal from a computer such as this:

This is an HP laptop adapted by Richard Nagy (see the Newsweek article here, and his own website here). Steampunk is a really fascinating and probably all-consuming movement that results in things like this pickguard, featured on SteampunkWorkshop.com:

If you're not in the mood for high academia or counter culture engineering feats -- if you're a man of the people, the Street Spirit made flesh and blood -- then perhaps your love for language is best expressed in tattoos. And if you have a taste for adventure and/or a poor grasp of English, try English character tattoos such as "Frunk" and "Crymph."

Fresh musical features are coming and, with a little luck, a much nicer non-stock layout for the site. So tell your friends, tell your ma, don't make me send ya back to Arkansas where viewing this page is probably more difficult what with all the moonshine and whatnot floating around.

First things first, let's get two facts straight:

1. Josh Ritter's "The Historical Conquests of Josh Ritter" is almost perfect, and "The Temptation of Adam" is almost without question the quirkiest, sweetest and most interesting love song I've ever heard. If you do nothing else with yourself in the next week, find that song.

2. "Pushing Daisies" is getting better with each episode (and the first one was pretty awesome all by its lonesome), and Ned & Chuck have what is almost without question the quirkiest, sweetest and most interesting relationship I've ever seen (and certainly the best of television right now). Chuck is especially adorable, and were it not for my admiration of Ned and the whole "pursuing romantic relationships with fictional characters" taboo, I might have a new obsession...

Phew, I'm glad I got all of that off my chest. Now onto the business of Philadelphia's very own Dr. Dog (and free Dr. Dog posters!)

Does anyone remember the MTV Video Music Awards about 10 years ago when Beck appeared via satellite to half-heartedly accept something gaudy? He did it in this totally un-ironic monotone, like he was thinking the same thing the rest of us were: "Isn't Beck a little too cool to be doing this? Isn't Beck's music a little too weird and classy to attract an MTV audience? Should Beck really be thinking about his career in the third person?" Well, the answer to all of those questions is "yes," and Beck's cool stock went up another notch when he remixed "The Girl" from Dr. Dog's latest record, "We All Belong."

Reaching all the way up to the Prince of Indie Grab-bagia proves one thing: "We All Belong" is a tough record to ignore. From the fuzzed-out Zombies punch of "The Girl" (dig that buried harpsichord in the chorus) to the shambling and wryly creepy "Die, Die, Die," the band has finally managed to escape the "shitty Beatles" label that's plagued all of its previous releases. Yes, it's still recorded on analogue equipment, but this is the widescreen, glossy and embossed director's cut release that all the other full screen records have been leading up to -- hence the move from 1/4 inch 8-track to 2 inch 24 track. "We All Belong" is fractured and messy in all the right places, but it's held together by the band's best-written collection of songs to date. Its personality and execution transcends the lo-fi spirit of the songs, and avoids the twin pratfalls of all such records: the impression that the band is either slumming it, or that they're incapable of creating something more polished and deliberate. This is deliberate and thoughtful for sure, but it never seems contrived or less than inspired -- it perfectly displays Dr. Dog's essence, the here and now of a band that cut its teeth (and these tracks) on the basement floor without pretense or second-guessing. It's as much a classic snapshot record as "Exile on Main St." or "Music From Big Pink," and one has to believe that the band is simply making the most of its considerable talents without any overwrought consideration. Just look at the happenstance lyrics to "Old News":

We've been stripped down
hog tied and found out
and thrown into the choir
like sticks upon the fire

If the above is true, the band is skilled at rolling with the unexpected (and bandaging third degree burns, as well). "We All Belong" is a kaleidoscope of the band's best tendencies: honest and sloppy harmonies, razor-menace, slinky slide guitar lines and general inventiveness (the horns that pepper several tracks are fantastic). It's all part of the "Philadelphia Sound," a combination of push-and-pull basslines and frenetic, trebly guitars that wrap around your brain like a boa constrictor (and judging by labelmates such as The Teeth, it's Park the Van's gold standard). This record has probably spent more time in my car stereo than any other in the last 6 months, and if you want to say that root, root, rooting for the home team is self-agrandizing, so be it...I'm certainly not the first one around here to do so:

The embedded player may or may not play the tracks at Alvin & the Chipmunks speed -- this blog is like an unpleasant version of Russian Roulette -- so make sure to click on "download original" after following the links:

Dr. Dog - Keep A Friend

Dr. Dog - The Girl

Seriously, you need this record, and you should probably go see them on November 10th at the TLA. If you're interested in the Beck remix, the band has released a limited number of 7 inch vinyl copies that come FREE with the purchase of their CD (or actual 12 inch) at local independent retailers. Try AKA Music in Olde City or Chester County Book & Music Company in West Chester.

As an added bonus, there are GIVEAWAYS for anyone who's interested. I'm on Dr. Dog's street team and I have a whole care package full of fancy posters, stickers and buttons...leave a comment and you'll be bountifully rewarded in person or via postal mail.

If you haven't already caught the previous downloads for the Wood Brothers, Grant Green and T-Bone Walker, shake a leg: they're all disappearing this Sunday, Sunday, Sunday!

WeAllBelong.net

Dr. Dog on MySpace

Park the Van Records

I've been getting a lot of criticism about my last few posts. "Ian," some say, "are you under the impression that your audience is composed entirely of blind people? There's very little visual stimulation lately, and so many of your posts are in braille and/or similarly coded gibberish." And so I says to Mable, I says, "Fear not, goodly sighted people! Much like those who hunger for food only to find that their eyes are bigger than their stomachs, so too shall your urgent need for ocular satisfaction exceed the capacities of your rods and cones!"

My apologies for the delay in updates. I've been hard at work getting a new template designed for this yonder blog, as well as a new logo and permission to add music from here and there. Until all of that happens (which will be tomorrow, when a Dr. Dog track or two is added), just sit tight and think happy thoughts. Hey -- are you thinking about Indiana Jones, too? Are you thinking about how awesome it is when he punches Nazis and makes that "what ever happened to corporal punishment" paddle-on-wet-cement sound? Are you thinking about how it's even more awesome when the Nazis let loose that blood-curdling scream before their timely deaths?
You're not alone. That scream is known as the "Wilhelm Scream" and has been used in countless films (or exactly 112, if you must know) since it was first recorded in 1951. And thanks to prolific sound editor Robert Burtt, it made its way into most of the films I grew up watching. The scream itself was probably recorded by Sheb Wooley, the world's last living mammoth whose "Flying Purple People Eater" made 1958 that much goofier. Check out the compilation below and pick your fave (mine is from "Howard the Duck," of course):

And while on the subject of "Star Wars" and George Lucas' excessive use of the Wilhelm Scream, enjoy this thorough deflation of his Empire's pomp and circumstance:

Keep your eyes glued to the screen as we move onward and upward to my three favorite topics: nerdy English major curiosities, tributes to facial hair and famine relief. First, the interrobang. "Egad!" you say. "We may quibble over the use of waterboarding, but interrobanging is never okay!" No no, this blog is expressly non-political (although if it weren't, cartoons like this might appear on occasion, courtesy of marriedtothesea.com):

The interrobang is actually a combination of an exclamation point and question mark. Apparently it was a very hip character in the 60s (like Steve McQueen), but proved to be only a passing fad (like Engelbert Humperdinck). It's perfectly harmless, unlike Laughing Bullets (first cousin to both the Gay Bomb and Giggling Scimitar).

All of these weapons are of course powerless when wielded against a fine mustache. "But where can I find an emporium of fine mustache examples, so that I might prepare a proper defense?" Try Mustaches of the Nineteenth Century, but first heed this warning:

Dear Gentle Reader,
Many of the following pages have graphic and clear images of the masculine mustache in all its forms, both sublime and grotesque. My intent is not to shock or titillate, but merely to inform on the subject. The Nineteenth Century gave us many things, but above all it was a hotbed of facial hair experimentation and this is but a poor sampling of those many lost forms.

The glossary of terms alone makes this blog worth your time, and as a founding member of the Fredonia/Dunkirk gang "The Beards" (which defeated the dastardly "Whales"...see below), I fully endorse its Mission for More Mustaches.

And finally, visit Free Rice.com if you like having your brain and vocabulary teased, tested and ultimately soothed by the knowledge that your supplying grain upon grain of rice to a hungry person somewhere. What do "begird" and "doyen" mean? Only you and your rag-tag group of rice-hungry mercenaries can find out!

So, have I whetted your eyes' appetite for destruction and human flesh? (I have a rare form of dyslexia that results in my confusing eyes with a zombie version of Guns 'N Roses -- and yes, the zombie version does include Buckethead). Check back tomorrow for some Dr. Dog downloads and more.

-------------------------

Currently listening to: Nicolai Dunger "RÖSTEN OCH HERREN"

Currently reading: Jack Spratt Investigates: The Big Over Easy by Jasper Fforde

In the last few months, I've been going to a lot of "In-the-Round" shows. For those of you not familiar with the format (and especially for those of you who think "In-the-Round" is the name of a pre-gastric bypass Blues Traveler album), allow me to explain. Unlike traditional shows with an opener, headliner and maybe some sort of collaborative push for an encore, "In-the-Round" shows feature a number of musicians seated next to each other -- the name is therefor an oxymoron, like "jumbo shrimp" or "Ted Koppel" -- playing songs and telling stories down the line, each successive performer usually linking their next tune to a theme from the previous. It sounds a bit silly, it's absolutely "folky", but it allows for a lot of interplay between artists who might not share anything but a passing stage otherwise.

On Friday night, I had the good fortune of catching an exceptionally talented and complimentary lineup: the Garfunkel-coiffed Devin Greenwood, the Western-Swinging Devon Sproule, the looks-a-lot-like-my-friend-Mitch John Francis, and the slightly-less-coiffed-but-infinitely-more-beflowered Carsie Blanton. Normally there's one sore thumb musician in these situations (and the line between good and bad in folk music circles in a tenuous one, at best), but not here. It was a fine evening of fine musicians playing fine songs in fine form, from Devon Sproul's giddy and absolute delight during former tour mate Carsie Blanton's time in the spotlight to the Band-worthy hand-me-down harmonies of "Brother's Keeper."
John Francis, incidentally, is a stunning live performer. He has a rich vibrato when singing softly, very reminiscent of Harry Nilsson in his prime. But when he cuts loose and really lets it rip, it's a bone-chilling approximation of early Sun-era Elvis. I rarely gets chills from singers, but it was Goosebump City, population my arms when he tore into "Johnny Cash on the Radio."

Talking to Carsie after the show, I was told that no new recordings would be issued in the near future unless I was capable of producing a record deal for her. Alas, I traded my last record deal in reserve to Papa Legba in exchange for my boyish charm and guitar playing skills (both of which have been coming up short lately; I guess it was only a 1-record deal or something). It did give me the idea for this post though. I run across a lot of Internet music labels, marketing sites, tour supporters, etc. here and there, and it seems like an excellent time to catalogue some of my "do-it-yourself" musical tips.

• TuneCore: TuneCore is the label and distribution equivalent of Garage Band. For a minimal fee (about $20 per album per year), you can upload your album -- with or without any sort of management/representation -- and let TuneCore distribute it to the pay-per-download platforms of your choice, including iTunes, Amazon, emusic, etc. It costs $1 for each site you choose to distribute your music to, but you keep all the royalties, publishing rights and "100% of the money your music earns." The site also offers CD duplication services and a blog about its favorite TuneCore artists.

• Sellaband.com: This isn't nearly as appealing, but interesting nonetheless. Musicians upload their demos and eagerly await for interested parties -- or "Believers" -- to donate money until a $50k goal is reached. Once this happens, they're guided through the recording of an album by an "experienced A&R person [...] and producer." The aftermath is where it gets a bit sticky. Every "Believer" who invested gets a digi-pack version of the album; fair enough. Sellaband then offers your songs as downloads for 50 cents a piece, half of which goes to your investors. You can also order your album at cost from Sellaband, but $2 from every album sold goes to your investors...and the profits from albums sold via the website are split between you, your investors and Sellaband.
  It's not a bad deal if you have no other options (and it's certain to encourage a strangely close connection with your future audience), but in the era of gloriously abundant and semi-shameless self promotion avenues, it's leaning uneasily into the shameless realm.

• TalkMusicBiz.com: Producer George del Barrio's website offering instructional posts and videos about surviving the annals (pronounce that at your leisure) of the music industry as unscathed as possible. While the tried-and-payola/monopoly...err, "true"...music industry may be on its way out, Barrio offers advice to musicians caught in the crux between the old guard and the new. Lots of resources here -- check it out.

• StolenGear.org: On the hometown hero front, this site was created in Philadelphia as an aid to name and making-a-name bands who've had gear stolen or, to sugarcoat such a devious act, "criminally misplaced."

*A special thanks to Paste Magazine for all of the above tips*

Last but not least, who hasn't dreamed of being in their own buddy cop movie? Come on..."Turner and Hooch", "Robocop II" (get it? Because there's two...), "The Color Purple"...what else is there to fantasize about? For everyone who has the swagger and intent of starting the next "Lethal Weapon" franchise but lacks the right script, you're in luck. They Fight Crime.org will generate your character sketches and what vaguely resembles a plot, all for the low cost of taking away from hours of work you need to get done! Here's a taste of the first film you'll win an Oscar for starring in:

"He's a short-sighted misogynist werewolf moving from town to town, helping folk in trouble. She's a mistrustful hip-hop single mother from out of town. They fight crime!"

Next time, more music, less circumstance. If anyone has any more music-related websites that could help a brother (or sister) out for Part II, please let me know.

---------------------------------

Currently listening to: Charlie Mingus "Blues and Roots"

Currently reading: Johnny Cash: The Autobiography and Created in Darkness by Troubled Americans: The Best of McSweeney's Humor Category.

At the risk of putting "Ninja Rap" in your head (this is assuming that it isn't already there on constant repeat, which is pretty unlikely), the title seemed appropriate in light of this bit of news. A recent poll in England revealed that the British have a penchant for both zombies and goofy drummers in their preferred supergroups, the first and second-most popular being composed of the following:

Freddie Mercury, Jimi Hendrix, Elton John and Phil Collins (the thinking man's Phil Collins);
and Bono, Eric Clapton, Stevie Wonder and Ringo.

A little weird, but it did inspire me to run through a list of more recent and satisfying collaborations. Who could I be talking about? Ben Franklin and electricity? Sacco and Vanzetti? Schlemiel and Schlemazl? T and Rex? None of the above, actually, but those are all excellent guesses. Let's start with oldest to newest, blindest to significantly less blind.

Ray Charles & the Count Basie Orchestra "Ray Sings, Basie Swings": Bizarre, near-sacrilegious and yet surprisingly reverential, this is a collaboration between a lot of dead men who never actually collaborated. When reels of tape labeled Ray Charles and Count Basie were found, Concord A&R man John Burk thought he had found the Holy Grail. It turns out the two had only shared a bill, and there was another catch: Charles' vocals on the live recording were phenomenal, but his band wasn't recorded properly. Seeing a time-travelling opportunity that didn't even require a flux capacitor, the still-touring Count Basie Orchestra was called in to re-record all of the band's parts from some 30 years earlier. There have been some complaints about the modern recording fidelity clashing with the reel-to-reel vocals (I haven't picked it up yet to say one way or the other), but the idea is novel enough for a pat on the back or tip of the old hat, at least.

Mirah & Spectratone International "Share This Place": I just got this a couple weeks ago and it's fantastic in every way, from concept to execution (I'm working on getting the rights to include a track or two). Here's a punchy description of its inception gleamed, garnered and gathered from emusic (a very good indie-focused download service that I use).

In 2006, the Portland Institute for Contemporary Art commissioned collaborators Lori Goldston and Kyle Hanson of Spectratone International to create an insect-inspired song cycle with K Records recording artist Mirah. Set to a suite of 12 short animated films by Britta Johnson, the resulting multi-media performance premiered at Seattle International Children’s Festival in May 2007. Influenced in part by the writings of 19th century French naturalist J. Henri Fabre (called “The Homer of Insects” by Victor Hugo), "Share This Place" also draws from Karel Capek’s surrealist Insect Play and a host of other sources. Layered with the luxuriant sounds of Spectratone International, Mirah’s beautifully delivered lyrics combine an epic scale and intimate tone.

In other words, it's the soundtrack to a concept film about bugs, meaning it could have been a complete twee disaster ("twee" and "precious" being the buzzwords for "indie gone bad"). Thankfully, it's very inventive and Spectratone International is just quirky and graceful enough to pull it off. Check it out first and foremost.

Bettye LaVette w/ Spooner Oldham & the Drive-By Truckers "Scene of the Crime": This is pretty exciting, swampy soul and rock from last year's greatest rebound artist. Does anyone remember how harsh I was on that awful Detroit soul/punk band a while back? This is what they should have been doing. LaVette's voice is punchy and powerful without stooping to acrobatic showmanship (it was affecting when Aretha did it, it's aggravating when Mariah Carey does it) and the band locks into a slippery and supportive groove that belies their own fascination with epic Southern Rock concept albums.

And finally, October's upcoming release from Robert Plant & Allison Krauss, "Raising Sand": If the first single "Gone Gone Gone" is any indication, this is going to be a surprise hit for Plant's recently revitalized career (see his last record and the upcoming in-concert collaboration between Led and Zeppelin). With maybe the best backing band you could ask for and the pitch-and-atmosphere-perfect T-Bone Burnett at the helm, this record is probably going to be the most surprisingly intimate and classic sounding record of the year. Fo' rizzle. Watch a video about the making of the album here: http://www.amazon.com/gp/mpd/permalink/8988/105-2023746-8374028

So now the question of the moment: what collaboration would you like to see? Let's stick to living musicians just to make it easier -- dead historical figures and any character from the Jim Henson universe are, as always, more than welcome.

In my many and varied travels, I've absorbed my fair share of historical trivia. Did you know, for example, that Don Henley started the Straight Edge movement and that the Eagles recorded an entire concept album about it -- sans Joe Walsh, of course -- featuring songs such as "xMake Me A Sandwich, Not Drugsx" and "xWe Would Never Be Caught Indulging In The Excesses Described In Our Songs 'Hotel California' or 'Life In The Fast Lane' Because We Are Straight Edgex?" (Sadly, the record was never released, as Joe Walsh decided to smoke the master tapes). In a recent adventure which I've entitled "Ian Saves Abraham Lincoln From John Wilkes LITTLE GIRL," I prevented the second assassination of our Antebellum-ist President by a little girl disguised as a statue. It was as intense as it was factual, and also less factual than intense (that's called a paradox, which is coincidentally the nom-de-WWF that Lincoln used during his brief tenure as a Mexican wrestler: Abe "The Paradox" Lincoln). Observe below:

Moments after this picture was taken, this little girl fired on our deadest President; notice her reaching for a weapon in the folds of her dress (Petticoat Junction? More like Petticoat M For Murder!). Also notice the grim determination on my face: some have mistaken it for the anguished look of the Irish-Pole in the sun, withering away like so many vampires...but COURAGE and UNFLINCHING PATRIOTISM are often mistaken as such. Lincoln was kind enough to catch the bullet in his hat, making this the most macabre magic-trick-gone-wrong ever. For those doubting the extreme danger of the situation, note the construction/danger cone in the background, a sure sign of impending doom.

However, none of that compares to the historical document below, recently recovered by SCIENTISTS who, as a rule, tell the truth all the time (smoking wasn't bad for your health until the 1960s, and only after that because people started doing it wrong; also, Global Warming is still not real to 10% of people, because things are only real once you believe in them, much like during the banquet scene in Steven Spielberg's "Hook." BANGARANG!). Written circa 1856 -- and showing not just a little foresight into the future of cinema -- please take the time to read this ode to the majestic horse, written by one Gillen Horatio Riggs, Esq.:

Salutations, fellow footballers! I hope you all had a splendid off-season and are getting ready to kick-off (pun-intended) our season in a friendly and competitive manner. In the spirit of these, I would like to submit to you this essay I found regarding the history of the Horse - my team mascot. I'm not sure who wrote it, but I think It's safe to say that it was one of history's intellectual greats like Aristotle or Burt Reynolds:

The history of the Horse has been one of pride and prestige. This majestic beast has played a pivotal role in our world's economic growth. Not only that, it has carried
countless of our nation's most important figures with reliability and loyalty. From such notables as Paul Revere to Indiana Jones, these people trusted their most important of missions to no other animal than the Horse. Can you say that YOU or any of your cousins played key roles in keeping the Nazis from getting the Holy Grail? I submit that you can not.

The Greeks used an effigy of a horse to sack the city of Troy. The Trojans, surprised by so generous a gift, accepted the horse into their city without question. Tell me - If the Greeks had chosen another shape to build - say, a Muffin... would their plan have been triumphant? The correct answer is ABSOLUTELY NOT. Muffins are ultimately a suspicious bakery item that no one has trusted ever since the infamous "Muffin Man" murders in the late 70s.

The Horse is synonymous with many other wonderful traits such as speed, strength, and charisma. Let us ponder for a moment the revolution in message delivery that was none other than the PONY EXPRESS. This service allowed faster communication throughout the transcontinental United States and hastened the advent of American Industry. One could argue that The Pony (which IS a type of Horse) Express is very much responsible for our country's success today! Now - what if instead, these ground-breaking entrepreneurs had instead called their service something like "The Sassy Express?" Hmm? Let me tell you what would have happened. NO ONE WOULD HAVE USED IT. EVER. Who wants to been sassed when they are trying to send a letter to their Grandma Jones? Not I, and certainly not you, either. These brilliant men selected an insignia of speed and reliability, and who could argue their choice? The answer is: nobody.

Ponder again the significance if Rocky Balboa had instead been assigned the moniker of "The Italian Hillbilly?" Thunderlips would have crushed him! Along with Apollo Creed and Ivan Drago. He never would have married Adrienne and the world would certainly never have been introduced to the fabulous and formidable Tommy Gun. I also have a theory suggesting that the brave and heroic RAMBO would never have rescued those American POW's OR Colonel Trautman (a.k.a. America's GREATEST Colonel) from the Commies, and the animated series "Rambo and the Forces of Freedom" DEFINITELY would have been absent from history as well...but that theory is for another place and time. All things considered, Rocky could ONLY have achieved triumphant victory over Clubber Lang and gained the favor of the ENTIRE Soviet Union using the name "THE ITALIAN STALLION."

So you see, the Horse is not only a symbol of power and speed, it is also a symbol of patriotism and victory. Ben Franklin and Teddy Roosevelt each rode horses - they are both symbols of traditional American ideals like freedom and justice (or alcoholism and animal cruelty, I always mix these up). If you don't support horses you are obviously a terrorist who is trying to hijack planes and probably have plans to build a gigantic space station whose goal is to find and obliterate Alderan, or wherever the Rebel Fleet is currently located. Anyone who is opposed the Horse and their goals should be considered un-patriotic and a terrorist Nazi from the Soviet Union who is here to perpetuate a plan that will ultimately return the Ring of Power to Sauron and end the World. You're not a terrorist are you? I thought not.

In Summation, If you are a loyal American you have only one obvious choice: stay out of the horse's way or get trampled under the horseshoes of LIBERTY!!!!!!!!!

And yet again, it's been far too long since an update. However, prepare yourself for an EPIC MULTIMEDIA EXPERIENCE this time. There will be music, film and, if you choose to stand up and dance while either of those are going on, dancing. Wow.

I've been accused many times of being a music purist, and that certainly applies to my feelings about the infamous and cryptozoological-tastic "Musician/Actor," or "Actor/Musician." So imagine my utter confusion when Michael Caine announced on his website that he's releasing not one, not two, but THREE records. And they are no mere mortal records, my friends: they are three records of "Chill" music:

"This is a compilation of Chill music from my vast collection. I have to confess that I am a secret disc jockey and have been making tapes and CDs for myself and my friends for over 40 years. My record “Cained” comes out in September. It was weird the way this record came about, I was having dinner with Elton John at his house in Nice and he had on background music and as we were going through the dinner several of my favourite Chill records were played and I kept naming the tune or the artist much to Elton surprise and he asked me how I knew about this kind of music and I told him and he got me a three record deals. As they say in show business it is not what you know it is who you know. Have a listen I hope you like it."

Bizarre. Almost as bizarre as if my dream of a Steve Martin and Rick Moranis bluegrass album came to pass. *For those of you caught unawares, Rick Moranis released a country album last year, and Steve Martin is an exceptionally talented banjo player (see below, but watch out for Bela Fleck's brain-melting solo with 1:15 left). They made at least 3 movies together -- why not?*

In the spirit of the impending Michael Caine musical revolution (for which he was trained while playing with Prince in the late 80s), this post's download will be from the great -- and greatly forgotten -- Grant Green:

Grant Green - Cantaloupe Woman

Grant Green - The Windjammer

These both come from a 1998 compilation by DJ Smash (your guess is as good as mine) called "Breakbeats." It's a really great introduction to Green, showcasing his ability to avoid the excesses of straight funk and the headiness of straight jazz. Green is, essentially, a sophisticated blues player in a swingin' band -- so sophisticated, in fact, that anyone who wants to make the argument that he's not a blues player at all is probably just as right. His single-line playing and phrasing owes more to bebop horn players than guitarists; notice how few double stops and bent notes there are. Like all my favorite guitarists, Green is a rhythm and phrasing monster, fully aware that how much you play and when you play it is at least an important as what you play. Thankfully, his groove-oriented sound has aged far better than the bloated rock fusion of a John McLaughlin and his ilk (whose work in the same era is probably most responsible for overshadowing Green's sound).

Like what you're hearing? Thinking to yourself, "I do like this very much, Ian, but I feel like it's not doing anything for my torso area, right between my nodding head and tapping toes." Well, have no fear! You can own this lovely Grant Green t-shirt from Ropeadope and Blue Note.

One of the guitarists who was almost certainly an influence on Green was the definitely bluesy T-Bone Walker. Walker is most famous for writing "Stormy Monday Blues," but his impact on the genre reaches much further than that. He was the first to really popularize the electric guitar as an essential blues instrument; he was also the first to play with his teeth, behind his head and underwater (two-thirds of what I just said is true). He was a stickler for hiring only top-notch players -- backing musicians had to be able to read music -- and his talents as a singer and songwriter were easily as serious as his playing (his vocal work on ballads sounds a lot like a menacing Nat King Cole, if that's even possible). Since I'm feeling especially generous, and since T-Bone's playing predates "Chill music" by at least a decade, I'm including one of my favorites below:

T-Bone Walker - Papa Ain't Salty

Having gotten at least one foot in the door of MP3 blogdom, I'd be completely remiss not to point you in the direction of the first (and probably best) MP3 blog I visited. Soul Sides strikes the perfect balance between being clinical and personal and features a huge collection of unknown and/or forgotten soul/blues/jazz/funk, much of it digitized from vinyl. It also features frequent giveaways, and free stuff is basically awesome all the time. Oliver Wang (the blog's founder) and Zealous Records recently released a second album from Soul Side's vaults, "Soul Sides Volume Two: The Covers." Free music and lot of nerdy music history -- check it out regularly and you'll be well on your way to being me.

And I still have a shortlist of things to include in the next post, whenever that may be. I'll make you a deal: it will be much sooner and much more interesting if you include links to this blog in your profile/MySpace/bathroom stall doors at your favorite buffet. The latter is the hardest to click on.